I’m going to have a little fun with this one.  This theory is both insane and ingenious:

The Simulation Hypothesis is so much fun to think about (at least for me).  Nick Bostrom, director of the Future of Humanity Institute at Oxford University, proposes a theory that claims that our life as we know it is nothing more than a computer simulation.  Basically, we are all just living in a more advanced “Sims” game inside a supercomputer of one of our future descendants.  It can be a bit confusing. 

Ok, think about how much technology has advanced in the past 100 years.  What about the past 20 years?  What about the past 10 years?  Nowadays, almost everyone carries around a pocket-sized, all-in-one camera/computer/music player/cell phone.  Technology is advancing exponentially.  Imagine how advanced computers will be in 50 years or 500 years.  In the future, computers will become so advanced that our future descendants will have enough computer power and programming skills to be able to create “ancestor simulations.”  These would be simulations of the simulators’ ancestors (i.e. people who are alive now).  The simulation world would be detailed enough for the simulated minds to be conscious and have the same lived experiences.  It could happen in 50 years or 10 million years, either way it wouldn’t matter to us (the ones who are living the simulation).  Bostrom supports his hypothesis by claiming at least 1 of the follow 3 things must be true:

1. The future civilization never attains the technology to run simulations (perhaps because it self-destructs before reaching that stage).

2. When people do reach that level of technological development, these posthumans decide not to run the simulations.

3. We are living a computer simulation.

It’s all very scary, exciting, and philosophical.   With thinking like that, it’s impossible to prove we are not living a simulation inside a computer of our “God” who happens to be a geeky, zit-faced dude living in his mom’s basement.

However, the argument is also infinite.  Supporting Bostrom’s argument, the geeks, who are simulating our lives, must also be living in a simulated world, under the control of even more advanced technology.  This goes on to infinity.

If you read this entire thing, thank you.  Obviously the person controlling your simulation wanted you to have a boring day.

The koala is one of the few mammals, other than primates, to have fingerprints.  Their fingerprints are very similar to human fingerprints.  According to an infamously dubious, free, online encyclopedia, human and koala fingerprints are so similar that “even with an electron microscope it can be quite difficult to distinguish between the two.”

Crime Scene Investigator: Here’s the gun from the murder scene.

Forensic Scientist: Thanks.  Once I just take a look at this gun with my trusty electron microscope, I will be able to pinpoint the killer immediately.

Looks in electron microscope.

Forensic Scientist: I see the prints.  It looks like I’ve narrowed it down to two suspects.  But it’s quite difficult to distinguish between the two, even with my electron microscope.

LATER:

Behind one-way glass, a witness looks at the two suspects in a police line-up.  A 46 year-old man with a history of violence and drug addiction …and…  a 25-pound koala with a pouch full of revenge.

I’ve been reading a lot about sexual ethics, so forgive me if my past two posts have been in the same vein.  In early theories of how babies are made, semen was believed to carry a homunculus (Latin for “little human”).  This theory of preformationism was prevalent before we understood that both a man and woman are equally important in active procreation.  So, yeah, some philosophers and scientists actually believed semen contained a miniature, fully-formed human.  Once the homunculus was inside the woman, development was solely concerned with enlarging this miniature person.  How stupid is that!  Sounds so ridiculous.

But…if we would go back in time and tell them that semen really contained millions of tiny tadpole thingies… I think that would freak them out more.

“Tiny tadpole thingies” is the terminology they use in advanced college biology courses.  Trust me.

I was perusing an etymological dictionary, and, like an 8-year old, I immediately looked up the word “penis.”  I haven’t changed at all.  I remember when I was younger I would look up the word “sex” in every dictionary I  could get my hands on (if I had a time machine I would go back in time and stuff child-me in a locker).  Anyway, “sex” was always next to some picture of a “sewing machine.”  That led to years of confusion.

As for the fact…well, the etymological dictionary told me that the proper plural for penis is “penes.”

I would hate to be the guy that had a reason to make the plural of that word.  Or would I love to be that guy… 

That’s all I got to say about that.

Brown adipose tissue (aka brown fat) is one of two types of mammalian fat (the other is white fat).  The primary function of brown fat is to generate body heat-  it’s especially important in hibernating animals and newborns that don’t shiver.  (I’m sure it’s even more helpful for hibernating newborn babies…)  Compared to white fat, brown fat has a higher density of mitochondria, which contain iron and make it brown.  Brown fat takes calories from white fat and burns it to generate heat, which could be a new weight loss strategy.  Babies have more brown fat than adults, however.  So, I suppose it would be a great weight loss strategy for fat babies.  Just put them in cold water and they will look great in no time.

NOTE: DO NOT LEAVE YOUR BABY IN COLD WATER

Or you could put the babies on the “baby food diet” as was previously discussed

http://smartestyear.com/post/794887298/baby-food-diet-7-10-10

The word “stroke”, in the medical sense (as in apoplectic seizure), is a shortening of what was originally “The Stroke of God’s Hand.”  You would think the Stroke of God’s Hand would be a little less miserable than that.

In my symmetry class today, I got really bored.  I know, right?  How can a class devoted to studying wallpaper patterns get boring?  It’s brutal.  If my teacher is reading this, I’m sorry.  It’s not your fault wallpaper is the worst thing ever.  Anyway, I started doing what I always do when I’m bored in class—- I hold my breath and time myself with the classroom clock.  This got me thinking…what’s the longest anyone has actually held his breath?  A Swiss guy has the record currently.  He was submerged in water without air for 19 minutes and 21 seconds.  Competitive breath-holders start by hyperventilating for up to 10 minutes in a tank of 100% pure oxygen.  Breathing rapidly like this expels the carbon dioxide from the body.  Once he’s ready, the breath-holder submerges himself in a tank of cold water.  Cold water slows circulation which helps extend the breath-holding time.  The record for breath-holding on land is only about 10 minutes.  So, if I want to beat my classroom breath-holding record I will need to bring a tank of cold water to class and submerge myself in it.  I doubt that it will be too distracting…

Wow this was a long post.  Sorry for being so long winded.

Get it?!  LONG WINDED

I’m still woozy from not breathing…

Getting static electric shocks isn’t fun.  And I know that my science teachers have explained the phenomenon to me for years, but for years I wasn’t paying attention.  But basically, most things around us are made up of electrically neutral atoms and molecules.  There is an equal number of protons in the nucleus and an equal number of electrons surrounding the nucleus.  Static electricity occurs when the positive and negative charges separate.  When I come in contact with another object after separation, electrons can move from me to the object, thus creating charge imbalances in both the object and me.  The electrostatic discharge occurs when the charges are once again neutralized. 

Next time some bully rubs his feet on the carpet and shocks you, you can explain to him the science behind his bullying.  I doubt he’ll want to shock you again.  He’ll probably just punch you in the face for being an annoying little nerd.

Generally, in the United States, a hill becomes a mountain once it reaches 2000 feet (~610 meters).  Ultimately, though, it depends on who you ask.  If you ask me, I will tell you 2000 feet is the cut-off between a hill and a mountain…. as I have already told you.

The earliest known recorded song was made possible through the phonoautograph, which was a recording device invented in 1857 by Edouard-Leon Scott de Martinville.  A recording of a French folksong, “Au Clair de la Lune” has been dated to April 9, 1860, making it the earliest recognizable recording of a human voice.  Here it is:

http://www.firstsounds.org/sounds/1860-Scott-Au-Clair-de-la-Lune.mp3

Wow.  That sounds really good.  I’m going to turn up the bass in the car and bump that jam!!!

I’ve read way too much about horses today.  I hate when I do that.  Anyway,  I knew the height of a horse was measured in hands, but I never knew a hand was equivalent to 4 inches.  Maybe dwarfs primarily measured horses back in the day.  I also learned that the only truly wild species of horses that still exists is the Przewalski’s Horse, although it’s currently listed as an endangered species.  I’m sure environmentalists could rally a little more with a name change, though.   A “Save The Whales” bumper sticker is a little catchier than “Save The Przewalski’s Horses”.

Somniloquy is better known as sleep-talking.  Sleep-talking is very common in young children and decreases in prevalence with age.  I found this interesting: people who speak sign language have been known to sign in their sleep.  Sleep-talking is so boring compared to sleep-signing. If you’re sharing a bed with someone who’s sleep talking, you can just play some music on your headphones and ignore them.  But if you’re sharing a bed with someone who is sleep-signing, you can put on headphones and imagine that they’re rapping.

The most hilarious planet, Uranus, is named after the Greek god of the sky, Ouranos.  On this astronomy website, several astronomers discussed the pronunciation of the planet.  Dr. Pamela Gay notes, “The safest way, the way that’s least likely to get us made fun of by any small children is to say Uranus (UR-uh-nis), but there’s also the famous ur-ANUS way of saying it.”  I wonder how Dr. Gay pronounces her last name to avoid getting made fun of by the said small children.

I keep getting lost at sea.  It’s getting ridiculous. I always forget how to find the North Star.  The North Star, or Polaris, is a very useful navigation tool.  You can use it to find your direction, and even determine your latitude based on Polaris’s angle of elevation relative to the horizon.  The star can be found easily, as it’s the last star on the handle of the Little Dipper.  You can also find it by following the line created by the 2 stars on the Big Dipper that are farthest from the handle.  The North Star is only visible in the Northern Hemisphere, so if you’re lost in the Southern Hemisphere you’ll probably just die.

Good luck!  And hopefully my stranded readers are in the Northern Hemisphere!

This is the crappiest picture I could find!  Enjoy!

Misunderstandings between brown eggs and white eggs have torn families apart for generations.  Now it shall be settled.  So what’s the difference between brown eggs and white eggs (other than the color…nice one)?  The Egg Nutrition Board— yes, it’s a real thing— says that there is no difference in taste or nutrition.  Simply, “white shelled eggs are produced by hens with white feathers and white earlobes.  Brown shelled eggs are produced by hens with red feathers and red earlobes.”  What!?  Earlobes!?  Like people earlobes?  Big dangly, droopy, old-people, chicken earlobes? 

I have white earlobes…I would probably lay white eggs.