The Christmas Creep is the phenomenon in which merchants and retailers exploit the commercialized status of Christmas by moving up the start of the holiday shopping season.  One way they do this, is by playing Christmas music earlier and earlier.

I always thought the Christmas Creep was that one uncle that always goes for the kiss on the lips when you see him at holiday family gatherings.

Blue comedy is a type of comedy that is risque, indecent, and often offensive or controversial.   This is named after a comedian who claimed to have kept all of his adult jokes in a blue notebook. 

If you write “adult jokes” in your special blue notebook, you’re probably not an adult.

The Liberty Bell isn’t all that American.  In fact, it was cast in England.

Like the Harry Potter movies.

“Action Man” is the British version of GI Joe.

I guess “Government Issued Joe” wasn’t generic enough already.

The Tetris Effect occurs when a person who devotes such a great amount of time or attention to a single task that it begins to overshadow their thoughts and activities.

People who play Tetris for prolonged amounts of time often find themselves thinking about how shapes in the real world would fit together.

I’d be scared if it was called the Call of Duty Effect, where people think about how to snipe you as they watch you from the coffee shop across the street.

Vlad III, Prince of Wallachia (1431-1476) better known as Vlad the Impaler was a Transylvania-born ruler of Wallachia.  He is said to be the inspiration of Count Dracula in Bram Stoker’s novel Dracula.  In case his epithet didn’t give it away, Vlad the Impaler was a vicious, messed up dude.  He is well known for his sadistic methods of execution and torture, which include boiling, skinning, forced cannibalism, roasting, and his personal favorite, impaling. 

I once knew a kid named Brad the Inhaler.  He was from Pennsylvania.  He had asthma and he wasn’t very sadistic.  Just pretty geeky and bad at sports.  He didn’t inspire any novels.

Maurice Sendak designed the monsters in his book, “Where The Wild Things Are,” as caricatures of his aunts and uncles.  The original concept of the book featured horses.  But Sendak had trouble drawing horses so he resorted to monsters.

Thank god.  How boring would that be?  

A farm.   That’s where the wild things would have been.

According to a series of novels released in the 1960s, Barbie’s full name is Barbie Millicent Roberts. In recent years, Barbie’s slim frame has caused quite the controversy.  Some say Barbie’s slender physique will cause young girls to become anorexic.  Scientists (with way too much time) have determined Barbie’s measurements relative to a real-life human.  According to research by the University Central Hospital in Finland, Ms. Roberts would lack the 17 to 22 percent body fat required for a woman to menstruate.  According to research done by every 8-year-old boy ever, Barbie lacks any organs that would allow menstruation to occur in the first place.

Thank god.

To boost my own ego, I occasionally like to check out the competition (which sadly gets way more views than SmartestYear.com).  There are so many stupid “facts.”  Today, we shall discover the truth by recognizing the untruth.  I have no idea what I just said.  I picked up this little gem on some “Fun Facts” website:

“Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots.”

Oh my gosh!!!!  

Well, after about 2 minutes of googling, I read that he wasn’t allergic, he just didn’t like carrots.  But I learned something even more startling:

Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) wasn’t even a real rabbit!!!!

I guess that explains why he didn’t like carrots.

Tell your friends about SmartestYear.com!  And tell them not to read this post.

Just when I started to think mullets were the best/worst thing ever, someone reminded me of the Furby.  He didn’t say anything about the Furby.  I didn’t even talk to him.  He just looked like a Furby.  If you don’t remember Furbies, google them.  Anyway, I remember about 10 years ago hearing about how some intelligence agencies banned Furbies from their offices, fearing that the Furbies would hear something top-secret and then start repeating it.  I remember back in 1999 I thought: Dang, my Furby must be dumber than other Furbies.  He doesn’t do anything useful.  Now in 2010, I am thinking: Any person that brings a Furby to the office should not be working in an intelligence agency.

Urushiol is the oily allergen found in poison ivy, poison oak, and poison sumac that causes rashes.  The stuff is extremely potent.  Apparently, only 1/4 ounce is needed to give a rash to every person on the planet.   Even Bret Michaels can’t do that.  I’m not making a “Poison” pun.  I am making fun of the fact that he probably has rashy STDs.

I am taking the high road…

This is really stupid.  Just warning you…

But today, I learned that there used to be another member of Chuck E. Cheese’s animatronic band—you know, those creepy robots at the Chuck E. Cheese restaurants.  Well, there used to be a character named Crusty the Cat.  Crusty was replaced by Mr. Munch (the purple pizza eater). 

Now the band consists of Chuck E. Cheese, Helen Henny, Jasper T. Jowls, Pasqually (the singing chef), and Mr. Munch.

Hmm, I wonder why they kicked Crusty the Cat out of the band.  Oh, wait, I know.  Because the idea of a crusty cat is disgusting.  Not to mention, I doubt parents want their children playing around the said crusty cats.

Worst marketing ever.

The fast-food restaurant Wendy’s is named after the fourth child of the restaurant’s founder Dave Thomas.  A drawing of her is also used as the chain’s mascot.  He must have really liked Wendy a lot more than his other kids.  Also, this is the second famous redhead fact in two days.  Thomas Jefferson and Wendy.  Equally influential to American culture.

The Greek word basileus means king, and is at the heart of a bunch of words. For example, basilisk (Greek for little king) is the monstrous reptile that long ago was said to wear a crown-shaped crest on its head, basilica (originally, a tribunal chamber for a king), and the herb basil. Basil is said to be the king of all herbs, and may have been an ingredient in some royal perfume. Being the king of herbs doesn’t sound very glamorous. It falls somewhere in between The King of Queens and the king of utensils (the fork, apparently).