Dreadlocks get their name because supposedly people with the hairstyle feel “dread.” But not in a bad way apparently; Rastafarian “dread” has a positive sense as in a “fear of the Lord.”

Which doesn’t sound very positive.

The Rastafari movement is a monotheistic new religious movement that was started from Christian culture in Jamaica back in the 1930s.  Its adherents worship Haile Selassi I of Ethiopia, the former emperor of Ethiopia, as a God incarnate.   

I know I’ve personally always worshiped this particular emperor of Ethiopia, so it’s cool to know I’m not alone.

A couple days ago, I mentioned how Martin Van Buren was the first US President to be born an American citizen. 

Though, his patriotism is all a facade.  Van Buren is the only* US President not to have spoken English as his first language.  He spoke Dutch.

*Depending on who you ask, Obama grew up speaking “Muslim”…

Sternutation is a fancy word for sneezing.

Mastication is a fancy word for chewing.

Masturbation is a sin.

Taliban means “students.”

I would hate to go to that school.

The Jesus fish that you see on the back of cars is called the Ichthys (Greek for “fish”).  ICHTHYS is an acrostic (see yesterday’s post) for “Jesus Christ, God’s son, savior” (transliterated from the Greek text). 

It would have been funnier if the acrostic spelled “penguin” or “giraffe” or “corn.”  I would put one of those on my car.

The eagle feather law states that only people of certifiable Native American ancestry can obtain an eagle feather, as it’s important for religious or spiritual use.  For a non-Native American, an individual could be fined $25,000 for possessing an eagle or “eagle parts.”

My religion says I don’t have to pay for fines.  I hope that works.

A man from Utah is a Utahn.   His wives would be Utahns.

The posture, garb, and idea of the Statue of Liberty was based off the Colossus of Rhodes (a statue of Helios that is widely considered as one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World).  The statue was made around BC 285, and was 107 feet high.

The sketches and illustrations of the statue are really badass.

In many of the depictions, in order to enter the city, you have to go under the spread legs of the statue and look up at a giant perineum. 

The word “scapegoat” is rooted in mistranslations.  Originally, Greek writers mistranslated the Hebrew word ‘azazel (likely the proper name of a demon in Hebrew mythology, perhaps related to Canaanite deity Aziz).  Instead, the Greek translators read it as ‘ezozel (“the goat that departs”).  This was then translated into Latin as basically “emissary goat” and eventually “(e)scape goat.”

I blame the Greeks.  We should all blame the Greeks for messing up the word scapegoat.

I just read a recurring editorial titled “Ask The Rabbi.”  This is what was silly (other than the fact that I just spent some time reading “Ask The Rabbi”).  Some of the more traditionalist Jews abstain from writing the English word “God,” instead choosing to write “G-d” or “Gd.”  However, there is no traditional Jewish law that prohibits a person from writing “God” in any language other than Hebrew. 

I just don’t get out G-d is different than God.  An “o” is a symbol just as much “-” is.  I suppose it’s a sign of respect.   But to me it looks more like an algebra problem. 

G minus D equals GOD.   G= GOD + D    G= (GO+1)D    [G/(GO+1)]= D

Wow….and I thought the low point of my day was reading “Ask The Rabbi.”

Although most translations of Genesis only refer to a “fruit,” generally people envision the downfall of humanity to be an apple (thanks a lot, Adam and Eve).  This association likely comes from a Latin play on words.  In Latin, malum is the word of “apple” and “evil.”  One source notes that the fruit probably wasn’t an apple because it is too hot in the Middle East (thus, the Garden of Eden) for apples to thrive. 

This source is probably looking too far into things…   Eve was just created from a rib.  A snake just talked.  I don’t think an apple growing in an atypical climate should really be that shocking.

Soon, the Qur’an will join the ranks of Harry Potter.  On the ninth anniversary of 9/11, a church in Florida plans to hold an “International Burn a Qur’an Day”  (I think the “international” thing might be a bit overambitious on their part).  About the event, the church writes in its blog: “What is acceptable to today’s leadership becomes acceptable to tomorrow’s society.”   Yeah, good point. Let’s make sure the “leaders of tomorrow’s society” light books on fire whenever they have a problem.   Guess what?  It’s just a book. What a miserable way to honor those lost in the 9/11 tragedy.

By the way, in predominantly Islamic societies, a large number of people born blind become professional Qur’an reciters.  I’ll tell them to stay away from Florida lest they get burned.  Because the blind Muslim reciters are obviously the intolerant, violent ones.

Note:

Oh wait, the mastermind behind the 1993 World Trade Center bombing was Omar Abdel-Rahman.  He was blind.

Well, at least I tried…

In some religions, including Islam and Judaism, the universe is categorized into seven levels of heaven.

Strangely, the crappy WB show “7th Heaven,” which centered around a Christian reverend and his billion children, had nothing to do with Islam.

Crap!   We all better go burn our DVDs of “7th Heaven.”  Oh, wait.  No one has a DVD of “7th Heaven.” 

So we would have to go out and buy a copy of the TV show to burn it.   Almost like a redneck and a Qur’an…

More tomorrow.

Hematidrosis is the rare condition where a human will actually sweat blood.  This can be a response to extremely stressful or terrifying situations.  In these situations, the blood vessels that surround the sweat gland dilate to the point of rupture, and the blood actually runs into the sweat gland and out of the skin.

It kind of looks like a Gatorade commercial.

And it’s pretty badass.

Until it happens to you.  And you get disgusting pit stains.