So, just when I thought it would be awesome to be Priapus (the Greek fertility god of yesterday’s post, who wielded a constant woody), I learned about the medical condition named after him: priapism.  Priapism is the painful condition in which the erect penis fails to return to its flaccid state within four hours, despite the absence of physical or psychological stimuli.

Priapism can create a blood clot in the penis which could lead to impotence or erectile dysfunction.

I’m pretty sure if I were Priapus, I would settle for erectile dysfunction.  At least  that way you could live a normal life.  Or in Priapus’s case, you wouldn’t have to worry about birds landing on it.

Priapus was a minor fertility god in Greek mythology.  He was well known for having a permanent erection.  In this picture, he is casually weighing a bag of gold against his penis.

I don’t really need to say anything else.

In the Hebrew Bible, the word “foot” was a well-attested euphemism for the male sexual organ.

Wow.  Impressive.

I was perusing an etymological dictionary, and, like an 8-year old, I immediately looked up the word “penis.”  I haven’t changed at all.  I remember when I was younger I would look up the word “sex” in every dictionary I  could get my hands on (if I had a time machine I would go back in time and stuff child-me in a locker).  Anyway, “sex” was always next to some picture of a “sewing machine.”  That led to years of confusion.

As for the fact…well, the etymological dictionary told me that the proper plural for penis is “penes.”

I would hate to be the guy that had a reason to make the plural of that word.  Or would I love to be that guy… 

That’s all I got to say about that.