This is really stupid.  Just warning you…

But today, I learned that there used to be another member of Chuck E. Cheese’s animatronic band—you know, those creepy robots at the Chuck E. Cheese restaurants.  Well, there used to be a character named Crusty the Cat.  Crusty was replaced by Mr. Munch (the purple pizza eater). 

Now the band consists of Chuck E. Cheese, Helen Henny, Jasper T. Jowls, Pasqually (the singing chef), and Mr. Munch.

Hmm, I wonder why they kicked Crusty the Cat out of the band.  Oh, wait, I know.  Because the idea of a crusty cat is disgusting.  Not to mention, I doubt parents want their children playing around the said crusty cats.

Worst marketing ever.

Margaret Sanger (1879-1966) was the founder of the American Birth Control League, which later became Planned Parenthood.  I gotta imagine she and her mom had an awkward relationship.  Mom, I hate you! You never do anything nice for me!  I bet you would have aborted me if I was born earlier and created the opportunity for me to be aborted!

A FOX news channel in Atlanta did an online article featuring the “top 50” internet and text message acronyms every parent should know.  As you can imagine, this is very stupid.  Just an extremely, hilariously obvious attempt to scare parents into watching their news program.  Here were some notable “acronyms”:  No.1 is “8”, which apparently means oral sex.  No.6 was “1174” which means nude club.  What kid has ever texted another kid about going to a “nude club?”  No.32 is “MOOS,” which means Member Of the Opposite Sex.  Which is way more suspicious than a text saying “boy” or “girl,” but whatever.  No.37 is “NIFOC”- Nude In Front Of Computer.  Why would anybody ever abbreviate that.  It’s not like your parents are going to walk into the room and just look through your IMs.  You’re sitting in front of your computer naked, maybe your parents will notice that.  No.17 “FOL”- Fond Of Leather.  Seriously?  Why is this the 17th most important thing every parent should know?  And finally, my personal favorite, No.16 “FMLTWIA,”-  F*** Me Like The Whore That I Am.  ….  Yeah.  Maybe I wasn’t a very cool middle schooler, but I don’t think I ever got the FMLTWIA text message.  If your daughter just sent a FMLTWIA text message, I feel like you missed a lot of the other signs leading up to it.  I don’t think the FMLTWIA text is a beginner’s acronym.

After the death of Edward VI, Lady Jane Grey became the de facto monarch of England.  Some historians refer to her as “The Nine Days’ Queen,” as she only ruled for a bit over a week in July 1553, making it the shortest rule in England’s history.  She became queen mainly due to nepotism and Protestantism (she shared a bloodline and religion with the dying Edward VI).At the time, Lady Jane’s father was involved in Wyatt’s Rebellion, where he and others protested the marriage of Mary to the Roman Catholic Prince Philip.  Jane’s father felt that Jane should be the queen.  Philip didn’t really like this disruption, so he called for Jane’s execution.  So although she was not directly involved with Wyatt’s Rebellion, Jane was executed because of her father’s actions.  She was around 16 or 17 when she was beheaded.  This is a classic example of a dad accidentally embarrassing his teenage daughter.  He just wanted what was best for her, and look what happened… her head fell off.  Ugh, dads can be such dweebs sometimes!