The book “Where’s Waldo?” (titled “Where’s Wally?” most places outside North America) has been banned in many libraries and schools because one scene features a drawing of a topless woman.  God forbid the topless woman in the “Waldo” book distracts the children from their learning.

The idiomatic expression used to explain sex, “the birds and the bees,” is said to first appear in a Samuel Coleridge poem in 1825.  However, even earlier, Shakespeare mentions the copulating creatures in King Lear. 

Let me tell you something though; the way birds and bees have sex is neither pleasurable nor possible when dealing with humans. 

Trust me.

It’s kind of embarrassing, but I feel like sometimes people forget that the Bible wasn’t written in English.  The Old Testament was written mainly in Hebrew.  When Jerusalem was taken over by Babylonians, the Jews were exiled to Babylon, where they learned Aramaic.  For this reason, some of the books were written in Aramaic, until eventually the whole text was translated into Aramaic.  Then the Old Testament was translated into Septuagint Greek.  The New Testament was written in Greek, and used the Septuagint Greek translation when referencing the Old Testament.  From there, the Greek was translated into Latin, among other languages.  The first English Bible was translated from the Latin translation of the Greek translation.  Later, the King James Bible was written in English translated from the “original” Hebrew and Greek texts.  Since then more translations have been done, which claim to use the “original” manuscripts.  Nowadays, there are over 200,000 variations of the New Testament.  Yes, a variation could mean something as small as an omitted word, or an alternate spelling.  But when people cling to a text as literal, one word can have huge implications.  This background sets the stage for tomorrow’s post…

About the world’s heaviest pumpkin!!!!!!!

…

A Catch-22 refers to an unsolvable logical dilemma.  The phrase comes from Joseph Heller’s 1961 novel “Catch-22.”  The number 22 has no significance.  Heller originally intended to call it “Catch-18,” but this was rejected by his publisher for being too similar to the title of another recently published war novel.  “Catch-11” was also proposed and rejected, due to its similarity to the film “Ocean’s Eleven” which was released in 1960.  “Catch-17” was then also rejected for similar reasons.  “Catch-14” was rejected because the publisher didn’t think 14 was a “funny number.”  If I were Joseph Heller, I would have just given up.  Clearly, there was no way he would win this battle with his publisher.

The first TV show to use a laugh track was the sitcom The Hank McCune Show in 1950.  I hate laugh tracks so much.  Usually, I don’t notice them.  But when I do, it’s the worst thing ever.  I really hate when the “audience” oohs and aaahs about some on-screen kiss.  Who are these people!?

Am I right, or am I right?

Oh man, I really wish there was some kind of literary laugh track…

(hahahahahahahahahahahahaha)