The Jesus fish that you see on the back of cars is called the Ichthys (Greek for “fish”).  ICHTHYS is an acrostic (see yesterday’s post) for “Jesus Christ, God’s son, savior” (transliterated from the Greek text). 

It would have been funnier if the acrostic spelled “penguin” or “giraffe” or “corn.”  I would put one of those on my car.

“Arctic” comes from the Greek arktos (“bear”), due to the northern status of the the Big Dipper constellation (aka the Big Bear).

I wish science was still based on animism and astrology!  I could be such a good scientist.

The posture, garb, and idea of the Statue of Liberty was based off the Colossus of Rhodes (a statue of Helios that is widely considered as one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World).  The statue was made around BC 285, and was 107 feet high.

The sketches and illustrations of the statue are really badass.

In many of the depictions, in order to enter the city, you have to go under the spread legs of the statue and look up at a giant perineum. 

So, just when I thought it would be awesome to be Priapus (the Greek fertility god of yesterday’s post, who wielded a constant woody), I learned about the medical condition named after him: priapism.  Priapism is the painful condition in which the erect penis fails to return to its flaccid state within four hours, despite the absence of physical or psychological stimuli.

Priapism can create a blood clot in the penis which could lead to impotence or erectile dysfunction.

I’m pretty sure if I were Priapus, I would settle for erectile dysfunction.  At least  that way you could live a normal life.  Or in Priapus’s case, you wouldn’t have to worry about birds landing on it.

Priapus was a minor fertility god in Greek mythology.  He was well known for having a permanent erection.  In this picture, he is casually weighing a bag of gold against his penis.

I don’t really need to say anything else.

“Barbarian” comes to us from Latin via the same Greek root (Barbaros, meaning “foreign, strange, ignorant”) as the name “Barbara.”    Well, the stem of the Greek Barbaros is “barbar.”   “Barbar” echoed the perceived sound of foreign languages.  The Greeks thought everything the foreign, uncultured people (barbarians) said sounded like “barbarbarbarbarbarbarbar.” 

The foreigners sound more like alcoholics to me.  Bar bar bar bar

Or maybe they sound like Pokemon(s) who keep repeating their names.

Also, I keep thinking of Babar the Elephant.  But I shouldn’t be.

The name “Barbara” comes from the Latin feminine form of Barbarus (strange, foreign, barbarous), which comes from the similarly defined Greek word Barbaros.  The concept of “alien” was viewed as exotic for women, leading to Barbara becoming a popular name.

Nothing says exotic like someone named Barbara.

More on this tomorrow.

The word “scapegoat” is rooted in mistranslations.  Originally, Greek writers mistranslated the Hebrew word ‘azazel (likely the proper name of a demon in Hebrew mythology, perhaps related to Canaanite deity Aziz).  Instead, the Greek translators read it as ‘ezozel (“the goat that departs”).  This was then translated into Latin as basically “emissary goat” and eventually “(e)scape goat.”

I blame the Greeks.  We should all blame the Greeks for messing up the word scapegoat.

The saying “an elephant never forgets” is likely a variant of a Greek saying, “the camel never forgets an injury.”  Not to mention, elephants are trainable and retain a sense of territory or “home.” 

Crap.  Now I have to add the elephant to my list of animals that sound like serial killers.

Remember…. the elephant is thinking about what you did to it.  Forever.

Finals week is almost over.  So I can stop learning about the same thing over and over again.  And quit writing miserable posts… But….

In the New Testament and Old Testament (I hesitate to say “Old Testament” because it’s only “old” for people who believe there’s a “new”), the word “Hell” has been translated from many words.  In Hebrew, sheol was translated to Hell (however, the same word was also translated to ‘grave’ and ‘pit’).  In Greek, the word Hades appears in translations of the Hebrew Bible.  The KJV used Hades as Hell, but modern translations have either kept “Hades” or substituted “place of the dead.”  In the New Testament, Tartarus was also translated to Hell.  The Hebrew word abaddon (destruction) was occasionally translated to Hell, also. To me, the most interesting is Gehenna, which has also been translated to mean “Hell.”  Gehenna comes from the Hebrew Ge Hinnom, which literally means “the Valley of Hinnom.”  The Qu’ran also describes Gehenna as a place of torment equivalent to Hell.  However, Gehenna was a real geographical location in Jerusalem, or more specifically, in the Valley of Hinnom.  It was a place where apostate Israelites supposedly sacrificed children in fires.  This fiery quality helped instill the image of a fiery Hell.  Thus, the location became connected with a damned place of destruction.

Hopefully, this post will boost tourism in the Valley of Hinnom.  Just don’t bring your children.  Because they will be set on fire.  And sacrificed.

It’s kind of embarrassing, but I feel like sometimes people forget that the Bible wasn’t written in English.  The Old Testament was written mainly in Hebrew.  When Jerusalem was taken over by Babylonians, the Jews were exiled to Babylon, where they learned Aramaic.  For this reason, some of the books were written in Aramaic, until eventually the whole text was translated into Aramaic.  Then the Old Testament was translated into Septuagint Greek.  The New Testament was written in Greek, and used the Septuagint Greek translation when referencing the Old Testament.  From there, the Greek was translated into Latin, among other languages.  The first English Bible was translated from the Latin translation of the Greek translation.  Later, the King James Bible was written in English translated from the “original” Hebrew and Greek texts.  Since then more translations have been done, which claim to use the “original” manuscripts.  Nowadays, there are over 200,000 variations of the New Testament.  Yes, a variation could mean something as small as an omitted word, or an alternate spelling.  But when people cling to a text as literal, one word can have huge implications.  This background sets the stage for tomorrow’s post…

About the world’s heaviest pumpkin!!!!!!!

…

The most hilarious planet, Uranus, is named after the Greek god of the sky, Ouranos.  On this astronomy website, several astronomers discussed the pronunciation of the planet.  Dr. Pamela Gay notes, “The safest way, the way that’s least likely to get us made fun of by any small children is to say Uranus (UR-uh-nis), but there’s also the famous ur-ANUS way of saying it.”  I wonder how Dr. Gay pronounces her last name to avoid getting made fun of by the said small children.

The most common theory as to the origin of the centaur (half-man, half-horse) comes from the first reaction of the non-riding culture (such as the Bronze Age Greeks) when they encountered nomads who were riding horses.  The Minoan Aegean culture, which hadn’t tamed horses, were baffled by the arrival of Central Asian nomads who not only looked different, but also rode horses.  The non-riding world thought the nomads were half-man, half-horse.  I can imagine their masculinity was greatly compromised by these half-horse people. 

The god of shepherds in Greek Mythology, Pan, is the root of the word “panic,” as the satyr Pan would apparently make noises in the forest that would freak everyone out and panic.  Pan was also known for his sexual potency.  In art, he is often portrayed with a quite noticeable phallus.  He was primed to make a ton of baby satyrs.   Satyr Tots, if you will.

Yikes, Greek philosopher Chrysippus allegedly died of laughter.  Apparently, his heart stopped during a fit of laughter, after he fed wine to his donkey and watched it try to eat figs.  For such an esteemed philosopher, his sense of humor was awfully simple.

And hilarious.