It is rare for a Venus flytrap to catch more than three prey in its lifetime.

I’ve been living in fear for nothing!

A person from Pittsburgh is a Pittsburgher.

Hold the pickles.

The uvula (the punching bag at the back of your mouth) comes from the Latin uvola, meaning “small bunch of grapes.”  It’s the diminutive form of uva (grape).  It does kind of look like a small bunch of grapes.  Or one grape.   Apparently, uvula piercings are starting to become a thing.  But the uvula is hard to pierce because of the gag reflex.

I think people should listen to their bodies.  When you gag, it’s your body saying:  

You freaking idiot.  Do not stick that needle into that uvula.  You are a stupid piece of trash.

…my body’s extremely cantankerous.

Samuel Wilson was a meat-packer in Troy, New York during the War of 1812.  Saying meat-packer makes me laugh.  Anyway, large amounts of meat were being sent to the soldiers.  Elbert Anderson, a contractor for the government, oversaw this process.  Before the meat could be shipped, it had to be inspected.  Enter Samuel Wilson, who was nicknamed “Uncle Sam” by his fellow meat-packers.  After it passed inspection, the provisions were marked with E.A.-U.S., as Elbert Anderson of the United States government approved the meat.  However, the workers didn’t know what E.A.-U.S. stood for, so they joked that it must stand for “Uncle Sam.”  To this day, the U.S. government has been personified by Uncle Sam.

It’s amazing how a little joke told by a bunch of meat-packers came to represent our country.

Uncle Sam “the Meat-Packer” sounds like an uncle that isn’t allowed at family events.

When Pepsi was first introduced in New Bern, North Carolina in 1898, it was called “Brad’s Drink”  (apparently named after Caleb Bradham, who owned the pharmacy where he sold Brad’s Drink).

I really don’t want a Brad’s Drink.  It sounds gross.

Pork is the name of meat coming from a pig.  Specifically, “pork” means the fresh meat of the pig.  Ham is specifically meat that comes from the pig’s back legs.  There was way too much information about how to slaughter a pig, where to find what meat, and so on and so forth.  Too much for one post.  Or someone who doesn’t really care about the anatomy of pig butchering.

But….

Every day in 2011, I plan to make a post dedicated to a different part of a pig.  It’s going to be called FattestYear.com.   It’s going to be the worst blog in the history of the world.  Even worse than some of the other ones I’ve tossed around (e.g. BoringestYear.com, PicturesOfCellulite.org, BeanieBabyBonanza.net, SmartestYear.com)

Sorry, if I actually listed a real website.  I didn’t check.  Be careful.

To boost my own ego, I occasionally like to check out the competition (which sadly gets way more views than SmartestYear.com).  There are so many stupid “facts.”  Today, we shall discover the truth by recognizing the untruth.  I have no idea what I just said.  I picked up this little gem on some “Fun Facts” website:

“Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots.”

Oh my gosh!!!!  

Well, after about 2 minutes of googling, I read that he wasn’t allergic, he just didn’t like carrots.  But I learned something even more startling:

Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) wasn’t even a real rabbit!!!!

I guess that explains why he didn’t like carrots.

Tell your friends about SmartestYear.com!  And tell them not to read this post.

The trademark holes found in Swiss cheese are called “eyes” in the cheese business.  They come from inconsistent pressing during production and have traditionally been a sign of imperfection.  Food historian Andrew Dalby says, “You can read medieval or early modern descriptions of cheese making in which you are specifically instructed to avoid them.”

With all due respect, Mr. Dalby… I would rather die than read a medieval book about cheese making.

Etymologically, “bulimia” comes from the Greek bous (meaning “ox”) and limos (meaning “hunger”).  One with bulimia is said to have the appetite of an ox. 

Wait… appetite of an ox?  Ohhhh, I get it.  People with bulimia have the desire to eat grass.

Brown adipose tissue (aka brown fat) is one of two types of mammalian fat (the other is white fat).  The primary function of brown fat is to generate body heat-  it’s especially important in hibernating animals and newborns that don’t shiver.  (I’m sure it’s even more helpful for hibernating newborn babies…)  Compared to white fat, brown fat has a higher density of mitochondria, which contain iron and make it brown.  Brown fat takes calories from white fat and burns it to generate heat, which could be a new weight loss strategy.  Babies have more brown fat than adults, however.  So, I suppose it would be a great weight loss strategy for fat babies.  Just put them in cold water and they will look great in no time.

NOTE: DO NOT LEAVE YOUR BABY IN COLD WATER

Or you could put the babies on the “baby food diet” as was previously discussed

http://smartestyear.com/post/794887298/baby-food-diet-7-10-10

It has been brought to my attention that there’s a new fad diet: the baby food diet.  But this diet isn’t meant for babies.  It’s meant for fat adults.  Or even adults that just want to lose a few pounds.  The diet is pretty self-explanatory.  You stock up on some jars of Gerber, and eat one when you get hungry.  They are low calorie, and have lots of vitamins and other stuff.  But just wait one second. We can’t overlook the fact that this is the stupidest thing ever.  Just eat an apple.  Or a banana.  Or a piece of bread.  Or anything, just eat less of it.  Don’t look like a creep and walk around eating baby food.  Most people strive to lose weight to improve their images (the health benefit is just an added bonus).  In my mind, nothing hurts your image more than a grown man or woman slurping down some baby food.  It’s culinary pedophilia.  I don’t care if it’s convenient.  A baby’s diaper is convenient.  Why don’t we just all wear diapers around?  That may make you lose weight, because you’ll be scared of the consequences of eating.

Stupid Hollywood!

McDonald’s has a lot of odd foods on their international menus.  It’s really quite interesting.  You should check it out.  But one food item on the McDonald’s menu in Hong Kong stood out to me in particular— the Shake Shake Fries.  Shake Shake Fries are basically flavored French fries.  They come in flavors like salt and pepper, French onion, chargrill, and seaweed.  I am about to McVomit.

For the next few days I will be driving across the country.  Thus, my posts will be about useless things learned on the open road.

Misunderstandings between brown eggs and white eggs have torn families apart for generations.  Now it shall be settled.  So what’s the difference between brown eggs and white eggs (other than the color…nice one)?  The Egg Nutrition Board— yes, it’s a real thing— says that there is no difference in taste or nutrition.  Simply, “white shelled eggs are produced by hens with white feathers and white earlobes.  Brown shelled eggs are produced by hens with red feathers and red earlobes.”  What!?  Earlobes!?  Like people earlobes?  Big dangly, droopy, old-people, chicken earlobes? 

I have white earlobes…I would probably lay white eggs.

Watermelon breeders cross a diploid plant (2 sets of chromosomes) with a tetraploid plant (4 sets of chromosomes) to get a triploid plant (3 sets).  This seed grows fruits that rarely develop seeds.   Enter the seedless watermelon!  I have seen some pretty raunchy videos of watermelons breeding.  It’s not for the faint of heart.

This is really stupid.  Just warning you…

But today, I learned that there used to be another member of Chuck E. Cheese’s animatronic band—you know, those creepy robots at the Chuck E. Cheese restaurants.  Well, there used to be a character named Crusty the Cat.  Crusty was replaced by Mr. Munch (the purple pizza eater). 

Now the band consists of Chuck E. Cheese, Helen Henny, Jasper T. Jowls, Pasqually (the singing chef), and Mr. Munch.

Hmm, I wonder why they kicked Crusty the Cat out of the band.  Oh, wait, I know.  Because the idea of a crusty cat is disgusting.  Not to mention, I doubt parents want their children playing around the said crusty cats.

Worst marketing ever.