The word “ornery” was originally a dialectal contraction of the word “ordinary.”  Originally, “ornery” simply meant ordinary, or commonplace, but eventually evolved into meaning naughty or cantankerous.

Old people love that word.

And they love calling kids “ornery.” 

Old person: “Hey, little kid.  Santa won’t come this year, because you’ve been too ordinary!”

Classic old person.

“Action Man” is the British version of GI Joe.

I guess “Government Issued Joe” wasn’t generic enough already.

Maurice Sendak designed the monsters in his book, “Where The Wild Things Are,” as caricatures of his aunts and uncles.  The original concept of the book featured horses.  But Sendak had trouble drawing horses so he resorted to monsters.

Thank god.  How boring would that be?  

A farm.   That’s where the wild things would have been.

I was perusing an etymological dictionary, and, like an 8-year old, I immediately looked up the word “penis.”  I haven’t changed at all.  I remember when I was younger I would look up the word “sex” in every dictionary I  could get my hands on (if I had a time machine I would go back in time and stuff child-me in a locker).  Anyway, “sex” was always next to some picture of a “sewing machine.”  That led to years of confusion.

As for the fact…well, the etymological dictionary told me that the proper plural for penis is “penes.”

I would hate to be the guy that had a reason to make the plural of that word.  Or would I love to be that guy… 

That’s all I got to say about that.

This is really stupid.  Just warning you…

But today, I learned that there used to be another member of Chuck E. Cheese’s animatronic band—you know, those creepy robots at the Chuck E. Cheese restaurants.  Well, there used to be a character named Crusty the Cat.  Crusty was replaced by Mr. Munch (the purple pizza eater). 

Now the band consists of Chuck E. Cheese, Helen Henny, Jasper T. Jowls, Pasqually (the singing chef), and Mr. Munch.

Hmm, I wonder why they kicked Crusty the Cat out of the band.  Oh, wait, I know.  Because the idea of a crusty cat is disgusting.  Not to mention, I doubt parents want their children playing around the said crusty cats.

Worst marketing ever.

Gelotology is the study of laughter and its effects on humans.  Laughing has many known health benefits.  It is said that laughing can lower levels of stress hormones as well as strengthen the immune system.  Also, laughing can dilate blood vessels and increase blood flow.  And here’s where it gets stupid.  I read on some dumbass random fact website that the average 6 year-old laughs on average 300 times a day, while adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day.  That’s such crap for so many reasons:

1. What scientist followed a bunch of 6 year olds around and tallied how many times they laughed?  Those people should not be allowed around schools.

2. When’s the last time a 6 year-old did anything useful?  (No offense to my 1st grade readers)

3. How do you count a laugh?  How can you distinguish between one very long laugh, and an unrelated laugh?

4. Which adults make up our sample population?  Did we get really serious adults?  Who would agree to do a study like this?  I know exactly who… Sad people who need to make 10 bucks participating in a psych experiment with a weird clown/scientist for a day.  These people don’t laugh.

5. It would become maniacal if adults just walked around laughing all the time.  It would totally take away from things that are actually funny.  It would be humor inflation.

6. What’s this study saying, that children have better blood flow?

7. I like how children laugh on average 300 times a day.  While adults get the “15-100” times a day range.  Real specific…

That is why I hate pseudoscience and random fact websites.  Except for mine.