In the 17th century, there was a game very similar to “jacks” called “dibstones.”  However, back then, the players used sheep’s knuckles instead of those little metal trinkets.

Apparently sheep had hands in the 17th century.

Unlike nocturnal creatures, which are active at night, or diurnal creatures, which are active during the day, crepuscular creatures are active at dawn and at dusk.  Ferrets, dogs, cats, rabbits, and old people are all crepuscular.

Opossums don’t actually play dead.  They just get too excited and pass out.

Opossums just got more worthless. 

In addition to striped fur, tigers also have striped skin.

This was the hardest fact of the year for me.

Have you ever tried to shave a tiger?

Maurice Sendak designed the monsters in his book, “Where The Wild Things Are,” as caricatures of his aunts and uncles.  The original concept of the book featured horses.  But Sendak had trouble drawing horses so he resorted to monsters.

Thank god.  How boring would that be?  

A farm.   That’s where the wild things would have been.

The saying “an elephant never forgets” is likely a variant of a Greek saying, “the camel never forgets an injury.”  Not to mention, elephants are trainable and retain a sense of territory or “home.” 

Crap.  Now I have to add the elephant to my list of animals that sound like serial killers.

Remember…. the elephant is thinking about what you did to it.  Forever.

Along with the Kodiak bear, the polar bear is the largest land predator.  As we’ve seen in documentaries and at Hollywood award shows, polar bears are not handling global warming so well.  Polar bears typically have up to 4 inches of blubber for insulation, so they start to overheat when temperatures rise above 50F (10C).  Their insulation is so intense that they are basically invisible under infrared photography.

This fact has taught me two things.

1. Global warming isn’t killing polar bears.  Polar bear obesity is killing polar bears.  If they lost some weight they wouldn’t be so hot all the time.

2. Polar bears join my growing list of animals that would make perfect criminals.

Civilizations have been using carrier pigeons to send messages for thousands of years. A lot of research has been done to figure out why these homing pigeons possess the ability to consistently navigate their way home.  We now know that different kinds of pigeons respond to different environmental cues.  Some pigeons navigate by sensing changes in earth’s magnetic field.  Some pigeons travel through olfactory navigation (sensing differences and changes in atmospheric odors).  And some pigeons even use man-made constructions such as roads and buildings to navigate.

I really want a carrier pigeon.  Someone needs to figure out how to get me one.  Then I can stop using this website and just have my carrier pigeons send these posts to everyone personally.  All 8 of you.

This is fun.  I was looking at a list of Presidential Pets, or First-Pets, or whatever cutesy name you want to call the animals that live at the White House.  There have been some good ones.  The early presidents often had horses and donkeys.  Thomas Jefferson had two bear cubs.  John Quincy Adams had an alligator.  James Buchanan had an eagle (the pinnacle of badass pets).  Benjamin Harrison apparently had opossums (the least badass pets).  Calvin Coolidge pretty much had a zoo.  But my favorite pets of them all were owned by John Adams.  John Adams had two dogs.  One was named Juno.  The other one was named Satan.

I won’t even ruin this by saying anymore. The guy had a dog named SATAN!  Brilliant!

In May 2006, a female Komodo dragon named Flora (because the name of a Komodo dragon is very important…) laid 11 eggs while she was living in an English zoo without any contact with male Komodo dragons.  Congrats to all male Komodo dragons!  You have just been emasculated to the max!  Next time a male Komodo dragon comes up to me, I’m just going to be like, “You’re worthless, dude!” and he’ll be all embarrassed and sulk away. Wimps!

The koala is one of the few mammals, other than primates, to have fingerprints.  Their fingerprints are very similar to human fingerprints.  According to an infamously dubious, free, online encyclopedia, human and koala fingerprints are so similar that “even with an electron microscope it can be quite difficult to distinguish between the two.”

Crime Scene Investigator: Here’s the gun from the murder scene.

Forensic Scientist: Thanks.  Once I just take a look at this gun with my trusty electron microscope, I will be able to pinpoint the killer immediately.

Looks in electron microscope.

Forensic Scientist: I see the prints.  It looks like I’ve narrowed it down to two suspects.  But it’s quite difficult to distinguish between the two, even with my electron microscope.

LATER:

Behind one-way glass, a witness looks at the two suspects in a police line-up.  A 46 year-old man with a history of violence and drug addiction …and…  a 25-pound koala with a pouch full of revenge.