I was perusing an etymological dictionary, and, like an 8-year old, I immediately looked up the word “penis.”  I haven’t changed at all.  I remember when I was younger I would look up the word “sex” in every dictionary I  could get my hands on (if I had a time machine I would go back in time and stuff child-me in a locker).  Anyway, “sex” was always next to some picture of a “sewing machine.”  That led to years of confusion.

As for the fact…well, the etymological dictionary told me that the proper plural for penis is “penes.”

I would hate to be the guy that had a reason to make the plural of that word.  Or would I love to be that guy… 

That’s all I got to say about that.

My running shoes stink.  I went online to figure out a way to make them stop smelling.  On some random “How To” website, people recommended that I put my shoes in the freezer over night to kill the bacteria; the next day, I was to take the shoes out and let them thaw out in the sun. So I tried this.  It worked a little bit, I must say.  But it didn’t work well enough for me to post it on some random website.  Never mind.  I just did.  Now I am looking up ways to get my freezer to stop smelling.