For the first couple years of his life, Gerald Ford was named Leslie Lynch King, Jr., after his father.  As it turned out, his father was an abusive douche-bag, so the future President’s mom divorced him, married a guy named Gerald Ford, and decided to rename her son after him.  It’s bizarre to me how his mom treated him like a classroom gerbil that gets a new name after every school year.  But at least she married a guy with an all-American sounding name.  Imagine if she would have married a guy with an Arab sounding name.  There would be no chance for a guy with a Middle-Eastern name to be elected President…