According to a series of novels released in the 1960s, Barbie’s full name is Barbie Millicent Roberts. In recent years, Barbie’s slim frame has caused quite the controversy.  Some say Barbie’s slender physique will cause young girls to become anorexic.  Scientists (with way too much time) have determined Barbie’s measurements relative to a real-life human.  According to research by the University Central Hospital in Finland, Ms. Roberts would lack the 17 to 22 percent body fat required for a woman to menstruate.  According to research done by every 8-year-old boy ever, Barbie lacks any organs that would allow menstruation to occur in the first place.

Thank god.