December 2010
31 posts
11 tags
End of Smartest, Start of Stupidest Year?...
2010 was a great year for one reason only. This was the first year to completely take place in the third millennium! 2000-2009 took place in 2 different millennia.
So this is what living in the third millennium is like.
Blogs. No flying cars. No dinners in the form of capsules. I don’t have a robot wife. I don’t have a smart house. I had a blog.
Anyway, thanks for...
14 tags
Ornery (12/30/10)
The word “ornery” was originally a dialectal contraction of the word “ordinary.” Originally, “ornery” simply meant ordinary, or commonplace, but eventually evolved into meaning naughty or cantankerous.
Old people love that word.
And they love calling kids “ornery.”
Old person: “Hey, little kid. Santa won’t come this year, because...
8 tags
Golden Gate Bridge (12/29/10)
The official color of the Golden Gate Bridge is “International Orange.”
It sounds like a flavor of soda that might give me mercury poisoning.
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Delaware Lame (12/28/10)
Delaware is the only state without a national park.
I wasn’t del-aware of that.
I don’t know what’s worse. That pun. Or the post’s useless title.
10 tags
NBA Logo (12/27/10)
The silhouetted figure on the NBA logo is modeled after Jerry West, a long time guard and coach of the LA Lakers.
I don’t mean guard as in bodyguard. Although, nowadays that wouldn’t be a bad idea.
All teams should have a shooting guard. To prevent shootings.
14 tags
æ (12/26/10)
æ was a single letter in the Old English alphabet, and was known as the “ashtree.” Nowadays, it’s commonly referred to as the “ash.”
Because it’s definitely commonly referred to…..
13 tags
Grinch Song (12/25/10)
The song “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” was performed by Thurl Ravenscroft, who was also the voice of Tony the Tiger.
Sorry about getting this one to you at the end of the Christmas season. You’ll just have to strike up conversation about Frosted Flakes, and try to work this one in backwards.
And one more thing…
Mr. Grinch…?
So Grinch was his last name? ...
10 tags
But are they losers? (12/24/10)
A study performed by social psychologists in 1995 showed that participants awarded bronze medals were happier than competitors that finished with silver medals. They were happy just to medal, while second place finishers were disappointed they didn’t win.
Thus, I refer to those who receive the bronze medal as “participants,” and those who get the silver medal as...
7 tags
Bronze Medals (12/23/10)
Bronze medals for third place first started being awarded in 1904 at the Olympics in St. Louis. Before then, only first and second places were awarded. Before 1904, we didn’t praise losers.
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Two Day Weekends (12/22/10)
Until the early 1930s, the only day of rest in America was typically the Sabbath (for Christians Sunday, for Jews Saturday). During the Depression there was a demand for “sharing the work,” which resulted in codes of fair competition, which created the 40-hour, 5-day work week. These codes were adopted in the National Industrial Recovery Act of 1933. This act was later deemed...
10 tags
Twas the Night (12/21/10)
The poem beginning, “Twas the night before Christmas…,” is titled A Visit from St. Nicholas, and was written in 1823 by Clement Clarke Moore. This poem largely standardized St. Nicholas as a fat man who flew around with reindeer.
It is quite remarkable that this caught on. It almost seems like Clement Clarke Moore combined all of the weirdest things he could possible imagine...
9 tags
MSNBC (12/20/10)
The cable news channel MSNBC gets its name from a combination of its two owners, Microsoft and NBC.
It’s motto, “Lean Forward,” makes it sound like a channel that should be locked by parental controls.
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Skivvies (12/19/10)
Why skivvies is slang for underwear is a little unclear, however, it was originally considered nautical slang. An earlier skivvy/skivey was also used in London as a slang word for a “female domestic servant.”
In Iran, “female domestic servant” is slang for “wife.”
9 tags
Unicorns (12/18/10)
In Medieval times, unicorns had strong connotations with virginity.
Some things never change.
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Starboard (12/17/10)
Starboard comes from the Old English steorbord, which literally means the side on which the boat is steered.
Sometimes etymology is what it is. Kinda lame. And self-evident.
6 tags
Ideomotor Effect (12/16/10)
The Ouija Board “works” due to the Ideomotor Effect, where your brain tricks your muscles into doing whatever your brain wants to happen.
It’s like how my brain tricks my muscles into opening the fridge when I’m hungry.
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Test Taking (12/15/10)
It is wrong to assume that your first answer is more likely the better answer. 60 studies consistently showed that going with your initial response or answer is not a good strategy if you start second guessing yourself. Typically, people who changed their answers more when they were unsure scored higher.
Apparently thinking with your brain is better than going with your gut. Wild.
7 tags
Cell Phones (12/14/10)
Cell phones cannot cause cancer. Only x-rays, UV light, and gamma rays are strong enough to break the covalent chemical bonds in your body.
But if you use a cell phone will getting x-rayed, or tanning, or floating around near a quasar, yeah, I guess you could get cancer.
6 tags
Mr. Clean (12/13/10)
In November 1962, Mr. Clean was assigned a first name, “Veritably Clean,” as a result of the “Give Mr. Clean a First Name” promotion. If “Veritably” won, I am guessing only one person entered the “Give Mr. Clean a First Name” contest. Someone named Veritably.
4 tags
Ping Pong (12/12/10)
Ping Pong originated in Britain during the 1880s as an after-dinner parlor game. It was then referred to as “wiff waff.” This is quite possibly the most pompous, snooty post-dinner party British name ever.
9 tags
Daddy Longlegs (12/11/10)
The claim that Daddy Longlegs are the most poisonous spiders (they supposedly don’t have a good means to transfer the potent venom) is false.
The fact that the name “Daddy Longlegs” gets creepier and creepier the more I think about it is true.
11 tags
Hamstring (12/10/10)
Etymologically “hamstring” comes from “ham” (the fat behind the knee) and “string” (a tendon). It’s all highly medical, science jargon. I can barely understand it.
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Stunting (12/9/10)
Often when a radio station changes ownership or format, they use Christmas songs, often out of season, to capture listeners’ interests.
Then the listener can make an active decision to avoid that particular station.
6 tags
Dubbing (12/8/10)
When a movie is aired on a TV station and a curse word is dubbed over with a more appropriate word, the new word is usually not spoken by the actual actor on screen. Just someone that sounds like him. I am doing 20 facts today. So to me, that counts as a fact.
10 tags
Dreadlocks (12/7/10)
Dreadlocks get their name because supposedly people with the hairstyle feel “dread.” But not in a bad way apparently; Rastafarian “dread” has a positive sense as in a “fear of the Lord.”
Which doesn’t sound very positive.
5 tags
Eskimos (12/6/10)
The term Eskimo typically umbrellas three groups: Yupiks, Inuits, and often the Aleuts.
So when people try to be super politically correct by calling all “Eskimos” Inuits. They’re just being doofuses.
10 tags
Christmas Creep (12/5/10)
The Christmas Creep is the phenomenon in which merchants and retailers exploit the commercialized status of Christmas by moving up the start of the holiday shopping season. One way they do this, is by playing Christmas music earlier and earlier.
I always thought the Christmas Creep was that one uncle that always goes for the kiss on the lips when you see him at holiday family gatherings.
7 tags
Rump Parliament (12/4/10)
The Rump Parliament was the name of the English Parliament after it took over the Long Parliament on December 6, 1648. Among many things, the puritanical Rump Parliament sought to abolish the celebration of Christmas. It’s just like a Christmas movie!
Except people died.
And of course something called the “Rump” Parliament would be miserable. This is just what you would...
8 tags
Lamarckian Inheritance (12/3/10)
Lamarckism or Lamarckian inheritance is the idea that an organism can pass on traits that have been acquired during its life to its offspring. This idea generally isn’t too popular anymore in terms of genetic evolution. I am really bored.
12 tags
Rasta (12/2/10)
The Rastafari movement is a monotheistic new religious movement that was started from Christian culture in Jamaica back in the 1930s. Its adherents worship Haile Selassi I of Ethiopia, the former emperor of Ethiopia, as a God incarnate.
I know I’ve personally always worshiped this particular emperor of Ethiopia, so it’s cool to know I’m not alone.
9 tags
Igloo (12/1/10)
In Inuit language, “igloo” or iglu means “house.” The term isn’t restricted to snow houses.
Because they have a million words for snow, but only one word for house apparently.
Also, I have a lot of trouble when deciding whether to use italics or quotation marks. You’d think I’d have that down by now.
November 2010
30 posts
7 tags
Blue Comedy (11/30/10)
Blue comedy is a type of comedy that is risque, indecent, and often offensive or controversial. This is named after a comedian who claimed to have kept all of his adult jokes in a blue notebook.
If you write “adult jokes” in your special blue notebook, you’re probably not an adult.
13 tags
Bluetooth (11/29/10)
The wireless communication device, Bluetooth, is named after King Harald I of Denmark, the 10th century king whose epithet was “Bluetooth.” He was famous for uniting several Danish tribes. This unity is the goal for Bluetooth. Not uniting Danish tribes, but uniting people across the world with technology.
I have a Bluetooth. But I don’t look cool with it. Bluetooths...
12 tags
Cross Eyed (11/28/10)
Rene Descartes had a fetish for cross-eyed women. He claimed the fetish stemmed from his childhood love being cross-eyed.
My childhood love wasn’t cross-eyed, which explains why I have a fetish for girls who aren’t cross-eyed.
13 tags
Whales (11/27/10)
To conserve oxygen, blue whales can slow their heart rate down to 4 beats per minute.
Why don’t they just breathe? Are they really that busy?
8 tags
Taste buds (11/26/10)
Taste buds are not only on your tongue, but also on the roof of your mouth and the top of your throat.
Sometimes I press my tongue to the roof of my mouth so my taste buds can taste each other.
4 tags
A seriously rag-tag fact (11/25/10)
“Rag-tag” used to be part of the longer expression “ragtag and bobtail,” meaning “lower class.”
Upon learning that “bobtail” was now involved, I became more confused. So I stopped.
6 tags
Wisdom teeth (11/24/10)
Wisdom teeth appear later in life, when people are “wiser.”
They don’t actually make you smarter. They’re just teeth.
12 tags
Spider eating (11/23/10)
The “fact” that a sleeping person will swallow 8 spiders a year is completely false. The “fact” was invented in 1993 by Lisa Holst as a way to prove how people will believe anything they read on the internet.
People like her really make it hard for me to keep lying to you all.
15 tags
Dibstones (11/22/10)
In the 17th century, there was a game very similar to “jacks” called “dibstones.” However, back then, the players used sheep’s knuckles instead of those little metal trinkets.
Apparently sheep had hands in the 17th century.
11 tags
URL (11/21/10)
With computers, URL stands for “Uniform Resource Locator.”
With truck driving, Earl is your name.
9 tags
HTTP (11/20/10)
“http” in URLs stands for “Hyper Text Transfer Protocol.”
Basically, four nerdy words put together.
12 tags
Crepuscular (11/19/10)
Unlike nocturnal creatures, which are active at night, or diurnal creatures, which are active during the day, crepuscular creatures are active at dawn and at dusk. Ferrets, dogs, cats, rabbits, and old people are all crepuscular.
13 tags
Martin Van Buren Again (11/18/10)
A couple days ago, I mentioned how Martin Van Buren was the first US President to be born an American citizen.
Though, his patriotism is all a facade. Van Buren is the only* US President not to have spoken English as his first language. He spoke Dutch.
*Depending on who you ask, Obama grew up speaking “Muslim”…
12 tags
Sternutation (11/17/10)
Sternutation is a fancy word for sneezing.
Mastication is a fancy word for chewing.
Masturbation is a sin.
10 tags
Demonym (11/15/10)
A person from Nigeria is a Nigerian. A person from Niger is a Nigerien.
George W. would simply refer to them as African-Americans.
That wasn’t topical at all.
7 tags
American President (11/16/10)
Martin Van Buren was the first president to be born an American citizen. The previous presidents were born English citizens as the colonies still belonged to Great Britain.
That’s why Martin Van Buren is so popular in the media as well as in history books!!!!!!!
…
9 tags
Play dead (11/14/10)
Opossums don’t actually play dead. They just get too excited and pass out.
Opossums just got more worthless.
13 tags
Brannock Device (11/13/10)
The Brannock Device is the thing that measures feet at shoe stores.
I thought rulers measured feet.
That was so stupid.
12 tags
Rookie (11/12/10)
The word “rookie” likely derives from “recruit.”
A Wookiee, like Chewbacca, likely derives from “wecruit.”