Etymologically, “bulimia” comes from the Greek bous (meaning “ox”) and limos (meaning “hunger”).  One with bulimia is said to have the appetite of an ox. 

Wait… appetite of an ox?  Ohhhh, I get it.  People with bulimia have the desire to eat grass.

I’m going to have a little fun with this one.  This theory is both insane and ingenious:

The Simulation Hypothesis is so much fun to think about (at least for me).  Nick Bostrom, director of the Future of Humanity Institute at Oxford University, proposes a theory that claims that our life as we know it is nothing more than a computer simulation.  Basically, we are all just living in a more advanced “Sims” game inside a supercomputer of one of our future descendants.  It can be a bit confusing. 

Ok, think about how much technology has advanced in the past 100 years.  What about the past 20 years?  What about the past 10 years?  Nowadays, almost everyone carries around a pocket-sized, all-in-one camera/computer/music player/cell phone.  Technology is advancing exponentially.  Imagine how advanced computers will be in 50 years or 500 years.  In the future, computers will become so advanced that our future descendants will have enough computer power and programming skills to be able to create “ancestor simulations.”  These would be simulations of the simulators’ ancestors (i.e. people who are alive now).  The simulation world would be detailed enough for the simulated minds to be conscious and have the same lived experiences.  It could happen in 50 years or 10 million years, either way it wouldn’t matter to us (the ones who are living the simulation).  Bostrom supports his hypothesis by claiming at least 1 of the follow 3 things must be true:

1. The future civilization never attains the technology to run simulations (perhaps because it self-destructs before reaching that stage).

2. When people do reach that level of technological development, these posthumans decide not to run the simulations.

3. We are living a computer simulation.

It’s all very scary, exciting, and philosophical.   With thinking like that, it’s impossible to prove we are not living a simulation inside a computer of our “God” who happens to be a geeky, zit-faced dude living in his mom’s basement.

However, the argument is also infinite.  Supporting Bostrom’s argument, the geeks, who are simulating our lives, must also be living in a simulated world, under the control of even more advanced technology.  This goes on to infinity.

If you read this entire thing, thank you.  Obviously the person controlling your simulation wanted you to have a boring day.

The koala is one of the few mammals, other than primates, to have fingerprints.  Their fingerprints are very similar to human fingerprints.  According to an infamously dubious, free, online encyclopedia, human and koala fingerprints are so similar that “even with an electron microscope it can be quite difficult to distinguish between the two.”

Crime Scene Investigator: Here’s the gun from the murder scene.

Forensic Scientist: Thanks.  Once I just take a look at this gun with my trusty electron microscope, I will be able to pinpoint the killer immediately.

Looks in electron microscope.

Forensic Scientist: I see the prints.  It looks like I’ve narrowed it down to two suspects.  But it’s quite difficult to distinguish between the two, even with my electron microscope.

LATER:

Behind one-way glass, a witness looks at the two suspects in a police line-up.  A 46 year-old man with a history of violence and drug addiction …and…  a 25-pound koala with a pouch full of revenge.

Nazi Germany initiated the first public anti-smoking campaign in modern history.  Hitler smoked in his younger years, but unfortunately gave it up when he got older.  He viewed smoking as “the wrath of the red man against the white man, vengeance for having been given hard liquor.”  Could also be the highly addictive nicotine, but whatever.  Hitler expressed that “so many excellent men have been lost to tobacco poisoning.”  Wow, what a humanitarian.  Inversely, many cigarettes felt that too many good men had been lost to Hitler poisoning.

The slang phrase “going postal,” as in getting uncontrollably furious and violent, derives from tragic incidents involving United States Postal Service workers. Between 1986 and 1997, more than 40 people were murdered by spree killers in over 20 acts of workplace violence.  You know what hasn’t murdered 40 people?  E-mail.

The bikini was invented in 1946.  I don’t really understand how it was “invented” in 1946.  Could no one honestly figure this one out on their own?  Anyway, the “inventor” named the swimsuit after Bikini Atoll, the site of nuclear weapon tests earlier the same year.  I was at the beach this weekend.  As great as bikinis can be, there really is a fine line between a swimsuit and a weapon of mass destruction.

The white doves that are “set free” at some weddings are most likely just white homing pigeons.  Nice.  I don’t like pigeons.  They’re gross.  Might as well just release a bunch of white rats on my wedding day.

I’ve been reading a lot about sexual ethics, so forgive me if my past two posts have been in the same vein.  In early theories of how babies are made, semen was believed to carry a homunculus (Latin for “little human”).  This theory of preformationism was prevalent before we understood that both a man and woman are equally important in active procreation.  So, yeah, some philosophers and scientists actually believed semen contained a miniature, fully-formed human.  Once the homunculus was inside the woman, development was solely concerned with enlarging this miniature person.  How stupid is that!  Sounds so ridiculous.

But…if we would go back in time and tell them that semen really contained millions of tiny tadpole thingies… I think that would freak them out more.

“Tiny tadpole thingies” is the terminology they use in advanced college biology courses.  Trust me.

I was perusing an etymological dictionary, and, like an 8-year old, I immediately looked up the word “penis.”  I haven’t changed at all.  I remember when I was younger I would look up the word “sex” in every dictionary I  could get my hands on (if I had a time machine I would go back in time and stuff child-me in a locker).  Anyway, “sex” was always next to some picture of a “sewing machine.”  That led to years of confusion.

As for the fact…well, the etymological dictionary told me that the proper plural for penis is “penes.”

I would hate to be the guy that had a reason to make the plural of that word.  Or would I love to be that guy… 

That’s all I got to say about that.

A Catch-22 refers to an unsolvable logical dilemma.  The phrase comes from Joseph Heller’s 1961 novel “Catch-22.”  The number 22 has no significance.  Heller originally intended to call it “Catch-18,” but this was rejected by his publisher for being too similar to the title of another recently published war novel.  “Catch-11” was also proposed and rejected, due to its similarity to the film “Ocean’s Eleven” which was released in 1960.  “Catch-17” was then also rejected for similar reasons.  “Catch-14” was rejected because the publisher didn’t think 14 was a “funny number.”  If I were Joseph Heller, I would have just given up.  Clearly, there was no way he would win this battle with his publisher.

Just when I started to think mullets were the best/worst thing ever, someone reminded me of the Furby.  He didn’t say anything about the Furby.  I didn’t even talk to him.  He just looked like a Furby.  If you don’t remember Furbies, google them.  Anyway, I remember about 10 years ago hearing about how some intelligence agencies banned Furbies from their offices, fearing that the Furbies would hear something top-secret and then start repeating it.  I remember back in 1999 I thought: Dang, my Furby must be dumber than other Furbies.  He doesn’t do anything useful.  Now in 2010, I am thinking: Any person that brings a Furby to the office should not be working in an intelligence agency.

The mullet is undoubtedly one of the most painfully enchanting haircuts of all time.  There are hundreds of epithets for the mullet: “Business in the front, party in the back,” “The Tennessee Top Hat,” “The Kentucky Waterfall,” and my favorite “The Missouri Compromise,” to name just a few.  But the Oxford English Dictionary credits the term “mullet” to the Beastie Boys, and their 1994 song “Mullet Head.”  Just recently, in attempt to thwart westernization, the Iranian government issued a catalog of acceptable male haircuts.  The mullet has officially been banned.  Hmm… Iran actually got that one right.  Maybe we should try to thwart westernization too… 

NOT! 

The mullet is proof of the duality of the human soul. 

Brown adipose tissue (aka brown fat) is one of two types of mammalian fat (the other is white fat).  The primary function of brown fat is to generate body heat-  it’s especially important in hibernating animals and newborns that don’t shiver.  (I’m sure it’s even more helpful for hibernating newborn babies…)  Compared to white fat, brown fat has a higher density of mitochondria, which contain iron and make it brown.  Brown fat takes calories from white fat and burns it to generate heat, which could be a new weight loss strategy.  Babies have more brown fat than adults, however.  So, I suppose it would be a great weight loss strategy for fat babies.  Just put them in cold water and they will look great in no time.

NOTE: DO NOT LEAVE YOUR BABY IN COLD WATER

Or you could put the babies on the “baby food diet” as was previously discussed

http://smartestyear.com/post/794887298/baby-food-diet-7-10-10

The word “stroke”, in the medical sense (as in apoplectic seizure), is a shortening of what was originally “The Stroke of God’s Hand.”  You would think the Stroke of God’s Hand would be a little less miserable than that.

Thomas Edison is credited for the use of “hello” as the standard telephone greeting.  However, the inventor of the telephone, Alexander Graham Bell suggested “ahoy” as the standard phone greeting. 

2 things: 

First, I am so sick of Thomas Edison inventing everything.  We get it… you are an inventor.

Secondly, I like the way this Alexander Graham Bell guy thinks.  I suggest we start saying “ahoy” again.  No matter how crappy the reason for calling someone is, you’ll automatically feel happier after the person answers with “ahoy.”